No More Cold Ones (aka Here Comes Bobby V – Where’s Tito?) – the Tale of the Epic Red Sox Fall from Grace of 2011

In 2004, in the heyday of my detest for all thinks Yankee Pinstripes, I found myself actually cheering for the Boston Red Sox, as they were down 0 games to 3, in the best of 7 American League Championship Series.  Afterall, they hadn’t won since they traded Babe Ruth, and there had never been a team in baseball history to win ANY series, of any sort, after trailing the series by 3 games.

Well, they did it – and I loved it.

Then, the world got a bit more Soxified… like a swarm of worker ants coming out of the hive.  Going to an A’s Sox game was hardly fun at all anymore (though I will edit this post with photos I took when I took Mom and Dad to the game that Schilling almost threw a perfect game at us in 2009, thanks Shannon Stewart!).  So, in this video, you wouldn’t see us because we’re nearly right behind homeplate and just about right where the A’s go back and forth between the dugout and the clubhouse – as a side note, I would be there with my Mom in 2010 when “209” Dallas Braden threw his Mother’s Day Perfect Game – so I did get to see history afterall, and from a guy who calls his hometown the very place I was born (Stockton).

That all said – “Red Sox Nation” has gotten to the point where ESPN talks of nearly nothing else, other than the Evil Empire (the Yankees) and the rivalry between the two teams.  If you haven’t heard about this snafu of last year’s season for the Sox, they had a 9.5 game lead over the Tampa Bay Rays when September started, and they led the Yankees by a couple games in the American Leauge East… Thanks to the epic tales of their 3 stud pitchers, Josh Beckett, John Lackey, and Jon Lester, the media threw this epic failure and cough-up choke job onto Terry Francona’s shoulders… he left and so did General Manager Theo Epstein…  this is the tale of what went down last September.   apologize to Mr. Chris Cornell for absolutely massacring his song, but I get a kick out of it nonetheless!  Here it is!

LYRICS AND MUSIC BY RG RILES TO THE TUNE OF LIKE A STONE BY CHRIS CORNELL

Out at Fenway, a daytime game
Team’s out playing their asses off…
On a plush couch, I confess
I was lost in the greasiness
Of a 10 piece, Extra Crisp
Downing a few brews ya know.
We’re pitchers. We play every 5 games.
Ain’t no way coach’ll call my name…

In the clubhouse, is where I’d be
KFC, Call of Duty
I’ll wait for you there
With a Cold One
The Sox Starting Staf…
Josh and John… and Jon

And at season’s end,
The Rays, they played on.
And we sat in regret,
A 9 game lead gone.
For all the coin I make,
and the fans hearts we break,
Well Theo followed Tito,
Now They’re Gone!

In the clubhouse, I long to be.
A Sixer, KFC, PS3.
But here comes Bobby V.
No more Cold Ones.
No more Cowboyin’ Up.
Where’s Tito??? Titoooooo???

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